Where carry out the boundaries sit re: opposite sex relationships when in a committed connection?
In my opinion going out for a drink or meal was ok, ideally within a group – but having a member for the opposite gender to stay overnight, alone, when you look at the absence of the mate is not appropriate to me, either for me personally or my lover. I stress my personal views were distorted & possibly it’s because of insufficient believe from past knowledge?
I would like an instant straw poll of just what other individuals think.
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Unless you find it appropriate, it isn’t appropriate.
This really is some thing there are no cast in stone policies about, but I don’t thought its about confidence, unless pre-divorce you’ll have obtained opposite-sex company keeping as soon as spouse had been aside.
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Thank you Nell – No, i’dnot have complete that -nor would i’ve male pals to keep, now.
Indeed all my men friends include married, & once that took place a general change in characteristics & objectives normally took place although we had been only buddies anyway.
I simply accidentally satisfy a great man that mainly feminine company. Now this has been some time & we have been much more committed, i will cope with the relationships, I am surprised discover he however thinks it should be okay to possess female pals to stay.
This is exactly why I asked,i wish to understand am I being unrealistic?
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Well once more, that’s up to you to choose everything you feel comfortable with and to work out together with your newer people what the limitations in your union would-be.
I guess whether your buddy can be used to presenting feminine company to stay as he wasn’t in a partnership, then their interactions with your female company would continue.
Or do you consider he is had an even more personal commitment with any of them?
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Perhaps not with all the types who remain over.
We have no reason to not ever trust your, with the exception of my personal diminished esteem (one of is own single feminine family in particular is actually more youthful & prettier than myself & I’m shocked that he doesn’t \“fancy\“ the girl! ) & my personal earlier enjoy can make me personally cautious with trusting guys in general.
I’m sure you may be correct, about speaking about it with him, i recently barely dare to broach the subject for fear of rocking the vessel, when it’s all going thus perfectly usually.
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My personal stbx in addition has usually had mostly female company and over many years I got approved it standard for your, until he had an affair last year. Even though affair has ended he continues to have most females friends he calls/texts and spends time with. Actually i do believe he’s occasionally overfriendly using them while we not too long ago got touble with the help of our (ex) cleansers‘ husband ringing him up and bawling your out about some text(s) ilove support he’d delivered. I really don’t think that stbx thinks he performed things incorrect. He or she is very friendly and available and anticipates everyone else to-be also. He does not seem to undrstand that other folks might place a new explanation on their friendliness.
But despite all that, regardless of if we weren’t splitting up, Really don’t think I would end up being more comfortable with him having members of the alternative gender to keep whenever I is away unless it actually was a vintage and reliable friend folks both.
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this was exactly what 1st attracted us to him plus it ended up being what I needed after a loveless matrimony got determined.
But their ‚boundaries‘ will vary from my own (in other words. the guy thinks a peck on mouth along with his female buddies is ok – whereas i’d never go near anybody’s lips unless they certainly were my companion!)
He believes it isn’t really wrong, as he does not attempt to cover the actual fact before myself. Exact same with having everyone stay over – but i do believe to be collectively 1:1 in his residence as an intimate thing even in the event absolutely nothing intimate happens – and, i believe, throw certain drinks in & folks can lose their own borders, whereas if they cannot set by themselves because place it can’t take place.
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