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Nov 182020
 

My entire life in Lifts

My fiancee, bless her heart, towers over me personally. I am five foot seven on OK Cupid (five legs six IRL), she actually is a lithe five feet nine by bedtime. We look like the first and last bars of a cell signal when she wears heels.

After six several years of dating, that straight disparity is not one thing we speak about much any longer, unless a lamp requires changing or we see another few from the road with similar measurements. (“Oooh, look—it’s us but white! ”) And then we had to prepare our wedding.

The thing is, there is a particular facet of the ceremony which has me personally inconsolable. Weddings are a fitness in self-presentation, additionally the looked at us standing here in the altar, in the front of genetically blessed future loved ones i have never ever met (whom can all probably dunk), just how following the “I now pronounce you. ” she would need to crouch down seriously to kiss me personally like i am some kind of grotesque frog prince?

Maybe perhaps Not perfect. And thus, to mitigate my inane interior crisis, we called in a few shoe lifts—hidden foam inserts that could basically bump me up a couple of Sarkozy-ian ins which will make me feel regal, confident sufficient to possibly cajole Muammar Qaddafi right into a bilateral nuclear contract with France.

Top—so I had to switch to boots so I jammed the things into my shoes and immediately realized they don’t work with low-top anything—your heel begins to peek out like a muffin. Continue reading »